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喜悦之情:当我病了的时候-When I Was Ill
更新时间:2024-03-28 16:20:10

当我病了的时候

喜悦之情:当我病了的时候-When I Was Ill

【内容提示】

你因某种疾病在医院住了几天。在病床上,除了受着病的折磨你还觉得非常孤寂,十分想念老师和同学。病情稍一好转你就要求出院。你刚回到家正准备复习功课时有人敲门。你开门一看,来的是班主任老师和几个同学。这时你的心情十分激动,见到了好几天不见的同学、老师的那种喜悦之情真是用言语无法描述。

【作文示范】

Whn I Was Ill

Fiv days ago, I had a trribl hadach and ran a high tmpratur. Th doctor told m to stay in hospital. Ths days I was vry lonly, I stayd in th sick bd and lookd at th whit ward ① quitly vry day. I couldn't hlp thinking of my tachrs and classmats.

Whn I flt a littl bttr, I wantd to lav hospital at onc. On aftrnoon th doctor agrd that I could lav. It mant I would s my frinds again nxt day! On my way hom, I found th air outsid was nic and frsh.

As soon as I arrivd at hom, I was busy going ovr my lssons. Suddnly, thr was a knock at th door. “Who is it?” I thought. Whn I opnd th door I shoutd,“Jiang Min!”Sh was my bst frind. Bhind hr wr my had tachr Mr. Hu and som of my classmats. “Com in!”I said with a big smil. How surprisd and happy I was! On of thm said, “You wr ill in hospital, wrn't you? W wr sorry to har that.” Anothr on smild, saying, “W wnt to th hospital just now, but you had alrady gon.” Mr. Hu said, “W all hop you will gt wll soon. Wlcom back to school.” I was so xcitd that I didn't know what to say or what to do. I only said, “Thank you for coming to s m. Thanks a lot.”Thyalso askd about my illnss and told m to hav a good rst and not to worry about th lssons. Thn thy said good-by to m.

I lookd at th food thy had brought to m.“How kind thy ar!”I said to myslf, “I must mak up for ② th lssons I missd. I will try my bst and study hardr.”

【词语解释】

①ward [w&:d] n. 病房

②mak up for弥补

【写法指要】

按理说,人病了应该是一件悲伤的事,但是本文作者选择的题材恰恰是从其反面切入,写的是喜悦的心情。这是作者选材的成功之处。文章用了渐进(climax)的宏观修辞手法,使喜悦心情由低潮逐渐达到高潮,这点可以从几处的选词和手法看得出来:nic and frsh(第二段)→surprisd and happy(第三段前半部分)→so xcitd(第三段后面)→How kind thy ar!(结尾段)。这真可谓匠心独运的手笔!

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